Begin Again
by iSpankzz
Summary: After a horrible break up Phil is crushed, he spends the next eight months sulking around his apartment, coming out only when needed. His friend PJ gets worried and sets him up on a date with a friend of a friend. Can love blossom between the two? AU where Dan and Phil never met, but Phil is still a YouTuber.


**A/N: I got this idea while listening to Begin Again by Taylor Swift, I hope you all like it. I have an obsession with Phan as of recently.**

Phil remembers it perfectly, his break-up with Holly. A girl he'd made his entire world, a girl he'd been absolutely in love with, even after four years. But then he'd came home early to surprise her for a lovely night out, where he'd planned to ask her to marry him. And that's when everything fell apart. Holly had came out and told him she was a lesbian.

Phil's world fell apart. He fell in love with a girl that had no desire to be with him. He supposed it was good he'd found out then, then years into the future when if he hadn't found out later in the night, found out years down the road when they were married and had children together.

But ever since that night, Phil had fallen into a deep depression, only going out when he needed too. He still made his videos and worked at the BBC, but those we're the only times you could see him with a smile, albeit a fake one.

PJ came over every now and then to check on him, to make sure he hadn't dissipated into thin air.

Over time the visits became more and more frequent, his friend becoming more and more worried.

It was a Monday, not that he really cared, he had just got home from BBC, a two hour event he had done with PJ. The brunette boy insisted on coming home with him to talk, not really giving Phil much of a choice in the matter.

Once they'd made it up to Phil's apartment he threw his keys onto the counter in his kitchen and went into the lounge, sinking down onto the couch.

"So what do you want Peej?" Phil said sullenly.

"Phil, you need to get out of this dump you're in. I get it, you loved Holly, but it's been eight months, you need to get out. You need to move on." Peej chided. Phil looked up over at the younger boy his eyes full of distaste. They'd had this conversation before, but it always resulted in Phil refusing and going back to his same, depressing life.

"You're not getting out of it this time. Chris has a friend, Dan. He's a great guy, and he's arranged for you guys to meet this Wednesday. So you'd best not bale out, Dan's a great guy, so don't be rude. I will send you the deets," Peej declared. "I'll see you later."

And with that he was gone.

Phil really didn't really want to go out, but Peej had made him promise this time to at least go, insisting he'd like the guy. So here he was Wednesday evening, throwing on his best clothes, a purple button down and some black jeans. It wasn't a really expensive place, but this was Phil's first romantic contact since, so he wanted to look nice.

He fixed his hair and threw on his shoes and with that he was out.

It too him a long, and nervous, twenty minutes before a cab pulled up outside, Regency Café where he was told to go. He didn't even know what this guy looked like, but was told to wait outside until he saw a guy with brown hair and matching eyes to show up.

So that's what he did. He leaned up against the side of the building, looking at the ground. He sat there pondering why he even agreed to come, he should just go home.

Yeah, that's what he would do.

But just as he moved off the wall and looked up he was met with the most gorgeous brown eyes he had ever seen. Phil immediately stopped dead in his tracks.

This couldn't be him, this guy was gorgeous, maybe an inch taller than him with straight black hair, deep eyes, and a cute dimpled smile.

"Phil?" The man inquired.

"Yeah that's me. Dan right?" Phil said, trying to hide a small smile as the man nodded and smiled.

Good God how could a man of this guy's age be so damned _cute._

Dan smiled cheekily at him, before walking over to the door to hold it open for him, Phil smiled and a light blush grazed his cheeks. He walked in, Dan following him as they sat down in a booth.

He couldn't keep his eyes off the boy throughout the seating and ordering process, but his cheeks burned brightly and his head shot down as Dan turned to notice him staring.

"So, Phil. I have to admit something to you." Dan spoke suddenly. Phil looked up and into the innocent brown eyes. "I knew it was you outside, I watch you on YouTube."

It was Dan's turn to blush, looking down at his plate. "Really?" Phil asked, happiness grazing his features.

"Yeah, I sat across the street for twenty minutes freaking out and trying to calm down. Ever since Chris told me he knew you and about setting up a date, I've been freaking out afraid that you wouldn't like me." Dan admitted to the older man who was smiling brightly at the admission. "He explained you've had a tough couple of months, and that this was your first date in a long time."

Phil's face fell slightly, the thought of Holly seeping into his thoughts for the first time since the beginning of the date.

"Oh god no- I didn't mean to- You don't have to…" Dan stuttered embarrassed that he'd brought it up, feeling so stupid now, burying his head in his hands.

"No. You're fine Dan really." Phil took a deep breath. "I guess it's about time I talk about it. She… I walked in on her with her girlfriend after coming home from work early to surprise her for a night out… I-I was going to propose to her that night. But she came out and told me she was lesbian. I was just a cover for her family. But, since then I've pretty much been hiding out in my apartment. My friend PJ as I assume you know was really worried about me. He set me up for this date to get me out."

Dan's face was one of shock and sympathy. "Oh.. Phil, I'm so sorry that happened. I know how it is to get your heart broken. I walked in on my most recent ex, Ben with another man. _He didn't even bother to stop, _even as he made eye contact with me. I ran out and never looked back. I've been in the same position as you. Chris had gotten sick of my sulking around and set me up on this date too. I'm glad he did."

Phil smiled at him, blushing as the continued talking about their pasts. They finished up their food, in which Phil paid, leaving a tip and making their way outside of the restaurant.

"At first, I wasn't sure about this, I was nervous and I wasn't sure I could move on." Phil said as he leaned in close to Dan, placing his hand on his cheek. "But I'm glad I did. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'd like to continue seeing you Dan."

Dan's face brightened up tremendously, "I feel the same way. So uhm, Phil. I have the full box set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at home if you want to take this back there- No sex, just cuddling if you want." Phil smiled at hearing his favourite TV show,

"I love Buffy, I have a signed poster at home!" Phil said smiling. Dan smiled back, bigger than he had all evening.

And with that they walked hand in hand to Dan's apartment.

_But on a Wednesday, in a café, I watched it Begin Again._


End file.
